Affliction

Written: 8/3/20

I tore my medicine cabinet open and grabbed a bottle of tiny green pills. I shook it frantically, desperately trying to get lots to pop out of its lid.

I grabbed a fistful of the flimsy nightgown I was wearing and squeezed it tightly. With my other hand, I stuffed a month’s worth of sleeping pills down my throat and instantly collapsed, a few of them escaping their fate of being swallowed and rattling with freedom as they fell to the floor. My eyes then fluttered shut, leaving my medicine cabinet door open and empty pill bottle left cold on the counter.

It wasn’t long until I awoke from my slumber to a lady dressed in white standing there, our faces inches apart. Was I in heaven? No. God wasn’t real, of course.

“Christ,” I mouthed. Her eyelashes were long and laced with white, and her hair was the color of ash. Her gleaming eyes contrasted against her soft appearance. Her silhouette was slender and fragile. It was like she was a snowflake, vanishing to the touch.

I studied my surroundings and came to the conclusion that I was probably dreaming. I lifted my hand off the ground and felt a grainy substance pass through its gaps… sand. I attempted to drive myself backward, away from the bizarre woman, but something hard behind me wasn’t letting that happen. I gaped and turned around to find a rock towering over my body, rugged and black.

It then came to me that this wasn’t a dream or hallucination of any sort. Everything around here felt very, very real. Every single feature of the realm I was in provided me with a genuine and loving comfort. The woman and I were sitting by some kind of seashore. Palm trees gently swayed in the distance, ashen waves crashed violently against the vast pillars of rock by the shore, and tufts of clouds floated dreamily in the milky blue sky. Where was I, exactly?

“Welcome to Hell,” the lady stammered. Gushes of gentle wind brushed up against my skin and sent a chill down my spine. Her face seemed cold and distant as if something withered and shriveled up inside her. She looked old and tired, yet her face sparkled with youth.

I looked around and shook my head. “This doesn’t look like Hell,” I sneered. In all seriousness, everything around here had its own sort of beauty. This land felt free and youthful. If anything, this was all I ever wanted.

“There’s nothing to do here,” she told me, “miles and miles of nothing.”

“It’s pretty though,” I mumbled, peering at the crashing waves behind her with content.

She stared at our surroundings and shrugged. “I guess so,” she sighed, her voice hollow.